By Jay for Provocative Media
So you’d like to experience fetish, kink, swinging and BDSM for yourself. You will find hot wanton women all too willing to display their flesh. You will admire cut and toned inexhaustible tan men ready to satisfy. You will see forbidden scenes of licentious vulgarity. You will witness the erotic mastery of people who have otherwise commanding personalities and feel universal acceptance of your particular sexual perversion. What’s not to love?
What do you do now? Talk to your partner. Set an evening and go on a date to a quiet restaurant (without the kids) where you can calmly discuss your desires with them. You should have your heart in the right place. Your desire for your significant other’s fulfillment should be at least strong as your own hunger for carnal adventures.
Let me provide some insight from a guy who has been in the lifestyle scene for nearly 15 years. I have a particularly visual connection to the world around me. As such, I like to watch.
I love my partner and I love the way she has sex. I love watching her fuck. The problem is, while we are having sex I can’t see her work. I sometimes feel I’m missing something while we molest each other. (should you ever be lucky enough to have sex with her you’ll understand just how ironic that statement is) She is fantastic! But I don’t get to see it.
Let’s see, I could video our sessions. Good, but kind of feels like a quarterback on Monday going over game tape.
I imagine it would unfold something like this.
“See how you arched your back right there, baby? If you twisted just a little to the left, you could stimulate your clit while fingering my ass.”
“I think you’re right honey, back that up a little and put it on slow, I want to check my angles.”
Not quite so sexy as one would hope.
I could have her masturbate for me. Nah, I wouldn’t know whether to bring singles, fives or twenties. Besides, I can imagine the look on her face if I tried to fill her thong with the same size bills we pay to the girls at the titty bar. I better save up some hundreds! Again, not exactly what I’m looking for.
The point is, I enjoy watching her have fun. It doesn’t matter if she’s playing golf, cooking dinner, getting spanked while tied to a cross or if she’s being relentlessly ravaged by some stud who looks like Djimon Hounsou. I just like to see her smile.
After going through all these thoughts in my head, I decided to just ask her straight out.
“Baby, would you let me watch you have sex with another guy?”
“You want to watch me do WHAT?”
Well, at least I didn’t get slapped. But it started a conversation on an important sexual subject.
After I explained why I wanted to see it and how my interest in her enjoyment was not only at least as important to me as my own but also vital to my fulfillment, she was happy to perform for me. Not only that, she insisted on getting me a girl to play with while I watched her.
You see, within the lifestyle community, sex; erotic play, kissing, domination/submission, bondage, etc. is thought of as just another activity to enjoy with friends. While love making is reserved for only someone in the core relationship, fucking is considered the rough equivalent of going shopping, water skiing or hanging out at the park. With this new way to look at sex, erotic activities could be a fun thing to do while waiting for the ball game to come on or the next time you have friends over.
Imagine yourself sitting around the table drinking a nice bottle of wine after dinner.
“Hey, tomorrow’s a holiday so we don’t have to get up, you guys want to fuck?”, one of the guys asks.
“Good idea!”, the girls say as they head down the hall toward the bedroom, giggling. “You guys wash the dishes while we get started.”
See, everyone has fun and nobody complains about having to clean pots and pans the next day.
My partner’s first personal experience in the lifestyle was quite similar to this. Since then we have played with other couples, enjoyed kink parties, become regulars at a local swingers’ club, had to decide between house parties or pool parties and continue to actively contribute to The Fetish Show. And that’s every week!
Now go on your date! Talk it over and keep it fun. Go ahead, I’ll wait…
So, you’ve talked and decided together, this indeed sounds like something you’d like to try. Remember, there is no need to move any faster or slower than you feel comfortable. Come join the fun!
Now, prepare yourselves. Decide together how far you are willing to go. (tip: go the first time and just watch) Once you establish the ground rules, follow them! Discuss everything before the event, not while you are there. Lifestyle events are not the place for drama. Also, while we are on the subject, changing the ground rules without discussing it with the other is cheating! Don’t do it. If you think you can fool everyone and play a one-sided game, save everybody and particularly yourself a great deal of embarrassment and just have an affair. Lifestyle parties are not for game players. When you are ready to take things up a notch together, discuss it at home over breakfast in bed while discussing your feelings and fears the next morning. Which is an important point, always talk about the party afterward, it’s fun to remember the party and it gives you a chance to allay any fears either of you may have.
The point is, selflessness and honesty are the most important requirements for a successful alternative lifestyles relationship. Selfish people may get laid a few times but it won’t last. It will not take long for people to find out. (word gets around fast in the lifestyle) When that happens, nobody will want that person around. Liars are not tolerated! The fact is, even if the truth is bad, it is much better than trying to skirt by with lies. Lifestyle people; swingers, fetishists, goths, furrys and kinksters (particularly kinksters), are a forgiving bunch when it comes to mistakes. The community provides great support to its own. But, lies are rarely forgiven! Trust is required for us to do what we do. Without it no one has any fun.
The night you planned for is here and you have arrived at your first party! You have set your boundaries and agree when, how and with whom you will play so you all feel fairly safe venturing into a strange new world.
Everyone seems to be having a great time. Tits are out here and there. Some dude is getting a BJ in the corner. A beautiful young woman is cuffed to a large wooden X to the left, she has a quite shapely but rather red ass and a giggling coed you have never met just grabbed your butt as she walked by wearing nothing more than a thong. What the hell do you do now?
First, take a deep breath and remember, this is fun so relax and enjoy the spectacle. Learn the feel of the group, find where you fit and do not make prejudgments. As a newbie, you will see many things you do not understand. You will have questions, don’t hold them in. Ask. Off to the side, there is a group everyone knows and smiles to when they wave or hug them hello. It’s not the loudest or most active table but rather the calmest. The table where everyone seems perfectly comfortable having one totally nude, another fondling his friend’s wife, and a third drinking a beer and discussing politics as if they were at the bowling alley. That is the “veteran’s table”, the guys and girls who have been around a while. Talk to them. They are the perfect people to ask about things you don’t understand. You will find the alternative lifestyle community to have the most friendly people around, and not only in the carnal sense. If you ask and be respectful, they will show you the ropes. (so to speak)
As you see things you never considered before, you will feel urges you have either repressed or never thought about. Again, do not make prejudgments. Trust me, your darkest fantasies are no different than anyone else. The shit you’re thinking of we already did with the addition of fried cheese and a canary. And we can help make things safe for you, physically and emotionally. Honestly, that’s why we’re here.
Now go talk about your bizarre concoction of depravity with your new friends. Let them in on the most sordid details you can imagine. Ask them to help you plan the wildest thing you can conceive. They want to be a part of your perversion. They want to help your fantasy come true.