Rules of Life
by Arien Adora
This essay is based solely on the experiences and opinions of a submissive turned kajira. When I was first introduced to the lifestyle I was a submissive who lived the life as far as taking care of the home, and the man of the house. Little did I know, as well as understand, that this man was actually a form of Dominant. At the time of introduction the Man I was with used BDSM techniques within the bedroom. He was not necessarily into the lifestyle, but did enjoy the kink that could be possible within pleasure. He also was strict in the way that he liked to live as far as the home care. For those two reasons I have always, and will always, refer to him as my first Master.
At the time I was still unknowledgeable about anything involving the lifestyle. Also, I still was not able fully to open my mind to the pleasure that could come from some of the kink that he was attempting to introduce me too. Unfortunately, I was one of those people that had that was taught that kinky things just were wrong. Thus, that relationship ended after a few years. This was the time that I decided it was time for change. It was time to know and understand who I was inside and out. So my education began, and the opening of my mind occurred.
When I began to understand more of the life of a submissive, I started making my own list of rules. I believe that some rules are necessary to help ourselves achieve our goals. It started off simply enough in the way of reminding myself that I am worth a life of happiness, and that abuse is never an option. The more I learned, the more it turned into how I wished to serve a Dominant. Generally, when servitude is given the Dominant sets the rules. For me, I always abided by those, but still maintained my own set. Before I share the list with you let me state that I use the word Dominant as I have served both Men and Women, and it did not seem appropriate to state genders. So now on with the list:
1. I accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Dominant, and will do my best to fulfill all wishes and desires.
2. I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience. I realize that failing to do so will prevent having the best experience possible, as well as lead to physical and emotional harm.
3. I will be responsive to whom I choose to serve. I will not hide what my mind and body are feeling so that who I choose to serve will know how to help me move forward in learning and growing as a submissive/slave. I know that my Dominant is not a telepath, and will not expect Him/Her to know thoughts, or feelings which I do not share.
4. I will give my gift of submission only to Those that can responsibly accept, and desire to receive. I will not place anyone in the position of Topping me non-consensually, nor will I give my respect to Someone who has not earned it.
5. I will not try to manipulate my Dominant. I will not Top from the bottom.
6. I will be obedient to my Dominant even if I disagree with what is requesting. I realize He/She has my best interests at heart and often knows better than I what I need in a particular situation.
7. I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not comfortable with, and expanding my limits. I realize that my needs and limits will change, as I will continue to grow and develop as a submissive and as a human being.
8. I accept the responsibility of a scene, or relationship gone bad. I will not place total blame when it is not warranted simply because He/She is the Dominant. I realize things may not work as they should at times, and will do my best to put it in the past and move on.
9. I know that my actions reflect upon my Dominant and will do my best to help others see Him/Her in a positive way. I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Dominant
10. I know that lifestyle is not a contest and will never think of myself as a “better” submissive because I choose to submit on a different level than another.
11. I will be courteous to all persons who cross my path. Not just because of my chosen path in life, but because they deserve my respect until given a valid reason otherwise.
12. I will share my knowledge and experience with others, in the hope that, they will learn and benefit from where I have been. I will take time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path. For when anyone honestly seeks instruction I want the hand of our community to be there, and for that I know I am responsible.
13. Above all, I will wear my title of submissive/slave with honor. I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or sub-human. I will take pride in whom, and what I am. I will never show myself in a negative way.
Through the years I have learned a great many lessons in and out of the lifestyle. It is my list of rules that have helped me maintain my outlook in all phases of my life. I understand that there are many that cross my path who are not in the lifestyle, but that does not mean that my rules cannot still be applied. That is the benefit of having the rules I believe. One of the most beautiful things about the lifestyle is its ability to help you apply so many of the rules to all areas of life. I am firm in the belief that it is my rules that have helped me to grown as a person, a submissive, a kajira, as well as a woman.
Arien Adora is the kajira that understands the lifestyle and lives it to the fullest extent. I live for the outspoken word and the thought that shreds your soul.